Just like any big change to your life, swinging can be a big risk to your relationship. But if you venture into this type of non-monogamy at the right time, you might find it strengthens the bond between you and your partner. Swinging can help your relationship by enhancing your sex life and helping you get closer to each other, but it isn’t a magic cure-all.
Non-monogamy can fix a few gaps but it isn’t going to rebuild broken foundations. If your relationship isn’t already on good grounds where you can trust each other, enjoy each other’s company, and love each other, then swinging will only finish it faster.
Here are some of the most common ways that swinging can help couples:
Because communicating is so important for non-monogamy to work without heartbreak, many swingers find themselves opening up to their partners more than before because it has become a habit. You might start to talk more about how you feel and be more direct in asking for the things you need to feel happy.
Swinging isn’t something you can do without trust. You trust your partner to tell you about their sexual intimacy with other people, you trust them to tell you their emotions about your own escapades, and you trust that they won’t leave you for someone new. Non-monogamy can really develop the trust between you as you and your partner are given the chance to show that you don’t lie, and will always respect your boundaries.
Enhanced Sex Life
There is no doubt that swinging can increase the amount of sex you are having, and the frequency with which you’re having it – what’s not to love? You can live out your wildest fantasies, and watch your partner happy as they explore their own. It’s surprising how much you can learn in the swinging lifestyle, from new techniques to ways of communicating in bed. These can all enhance your sex life, both generally, and back home when it’s just the two of you again.
You might know you love the same movies or dance to the same music but do you know if he’s into that thing you’re into (you know, that thing). You might discover something really fun, for example, you might discover like you like the same women or you have a shared fantasy. Your bond could even be strengthened just because you have a saucy secret between you both, you can share the excitement of your next big night out, and revel in each other’s stories from the last one.
They say that variety is the spice of life… and they aren’t wrong. Sometimes the only thing lacking from a relationship is some excitement. You could go on a six month holiday and backpack around Peru, or you could try something closer to home. Swinging can inject excitement into a relationship, and provide a fun new journey for you both that gives you some distraction from your everyday life of bills, work, and child-rearing.
Rekindle Your Spark
When was the last time you and your partner went for dinner? Or they bought you flowers? Or you cooked them dinner? The first few months of a relationship are filled with romance and sexiness, but as time passes many couples start to take each other for granted. Swingers that are embarking on the journey of non-monogamy together can rekindle this sexy spark, as after years of seeing their partner as ‘parent’ they see them in a new light again. We all fall into routines, but swinging pulls you out of that.
There’s little more confidence boosting than turning heads when you walk into a bar – except maybe if you’re not wearing any clothes. While on some occasions you will be fighting off your swinger insecurities with one hand and accepting a drink from a sexy stranger with the other, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone might leave you surprised by how normal it all feels, and besides, everyone has flaws and imperfections.
As an unexpected benefit to your relationship, many couples find that their health improves when they are partner swapping. It’s easy to ‘let yourself go’ when you’re in a long term relationship as you perhaps don’t feel like you need to make an effort, but if you’re regularly hooking up with other people you can find yourself wanting to look and feel your best. This means swingers tend to keep themselves in better shape.
Co-dependence in long term monogamous relationships is common. Couples can find themselves with the same group of friends, shared finances, eating the same meals, and having the same hobbies. This isn’t always healthy, and spending so much time with your significant other can result in growing feelings of resentment as you fear you are losing your identity outside of being a couple. Swinging can give couples the chance to find themselves again, as they explore their own sexual desires separate from their partners.
Couples may also benefit from the number of new friends they make on the swinging scene. These adventurous companions can be an exciting change from your usual group of friends, and you will both benefit from having people you can talk to about your sex life. You’ve already trusted them with some intimate knowledge about you, so opening up about other parts of your life can be surprisingly easy.