Adding a third person to your bed can be an experience full of pleasure or experience full of regret. So how do you navigate this potential relationship minefield to reach the success of an unforgettable threesome?
Many fantasize about having a threesome, but few go through with the act. What is it about a threesome that is so alluring to so many? Why do people worry about taking the leap, and can it damage a good relationship? Keep reading, and we’ll answer these questions to help you pick the right answer for your relationship.
Not all threesome are the same
A threesome means that three people are part of the sexual experience but who the third is makes a big difference. For example, a couple hooking up with a stranger will have a very different dynamic than a couple inviting a close friend into their bed. The dynamics (and the potential sex positions) also change with the sex of the third person. Is there going to be any bisexual play or no? Can everyone do anything, or are certain things like kissing The Third off-limits? What about condoms? You want to be careful when picking your threesome team to make sure it is the right mix and everyone clearly understands what is and is not acceptable.
Potential Pitfalls & Worries
Threesomes can be very exciting to imagine, but reality can be very different from what we expect. You likely have heard some horror stories and might be a bit worried about it. These horror stories are often a result of poor threesome planning, which thankfully is a mistake you can avoid repeating. Here are some of the most common worrisome situations & how you can handle them.
Damaging Your Relationship
If you are in a loving relationship, you want to be careful to protect it. Opening it up to a threesome can potentially damage or wreck it if you don’t plan and communicate enough. To reduce the risks, it would be smart to define your boundaries and rules clearly. When in doubt, err on the side of caution. You don’t want to push a threesome when you aren’t ready. It is much easier to do more in the future than to take back hurtful memories resulting from your partner feeling disrespected. Sex can make us feel vulnerable as we put our bodies on display and share something special with others. It is important that relationship partners pay close attention to how the other is experiencing the threesome. Hopefully, you spot your partner feeling uncomfortable so you can adjust the scenario before it grows into a painful situation that wrecks everything. It is not uncommon to feel jealous, angry, or even turned off when the wrong thing happens or is said during a threesome. If negative feelings pop-up, you should stop the threesome and focus on protecting your relationship.
Losing Friends
If you invite a friend into your bed and things go poorly, you might end up losing your friend. Well, how can it go bad? Maybe your friend breaks one of the rules in a moment of passion. Maybe they have a great time, but you become too nervous and can’t enjoy it, leading to negative feelings. Maybe the sex was phenomenal for everyone, but later vanilla interactions get super awkward. Bad experiences happen, even with great couples and friends. Do all of you have enough maturity & understanding to overcome this, or will it break up your friendship? This is a big reason why many people prefer inviting new people from online dating sites for a threesome and not risking their relationship with close friends even if they feel nervous about trying online dating.
Health Risks
More sex partners mean more risks. Thankfully, we can address added risks with safer sex practices. Before you invite anyone into your bed, remember to ask about their latest STI test results. Pay attention to their body language as they respond. Do they seem truthful and also informed about safer sex? Now is a good time to also suggest you drink less alcohol. That is a great way to stay healthy because it will help you keep your wits sharp. You want to notice the small but important details, like is everyone wearing condoms? Are the condoms being changed out in-between partners? If condoms are reused for multiple partners, they can spread STIs. Be informed and be the best advocate for your health.
Can Decrease Self-Esteem
Bringing another person into the bedroom can bring insecurities to the surface. These insecurities may have been manageable in your traditional relationship, but having another pair of eyes watching you, another body to compare yours to, and nagging thoughts of not measuring up can make any person feel uncomfortable. This could be what pushes your insecurities past their breaking point. The best way to protect yourself is to be honest before you even start thinking about a threesome. Focus on what you love about yourself and identify potentially toxic emotional bombs so you can defuse them. Be honest with your partner so they can aid you in strengthening your amazing self.
Sexy Upsides of Threesome
When a threesome is approached in the right way, it can have an amazingly positive effect on a relationship. For couples who choose to pursue a shared fantasy built on a foundation of clear communication and mutual respect, a threesome can deliver an amazingly pleasurable memory that will strengthen your bond for a long time.
Strengthen Connection
Actions speak louder than words. When couples safeguard their relationship before a threesome with open and honest communication, it brings a couple closer together. Taking care of each other during the threesome builds trust and confidence. Showing you respect each other’s rules proves you can be trusted in delicate situations.
A Rare Experience
Having a wonderful threesome is something special you can share. Exploring your sexual desires together can be full of wonder and build a deeper, more meaningful connection with your other half.
Boosting Self-Esteem
We already mentioned if you make mistakes, a threesome can damage self-esteem. But, to be fair, we should mention how it can also boost self-esteem. If you all show the right level of care, attention, and love, this experience can make you all feel a lot better about yourselves. A good experience helps to strengthen us against our insecurities. Knowing that others desire and enjoy us is very affirming to our inner self. We are often our own harshest critics, so having others see us as beautiful and sexy humans can remind us that we can be too harsh on ourselves and be more proud of our amazing self.
Society is becoming more open to different types of sexual encounters, so give yourself the freedom to figure out what is best for you and your relationship. Threesomes can be an amazing experience if you use a bit of maturity and common sense. Of course, if someone is reckless, a threesome can damage or wreck a relationship. Show off your maturity by communicating your feelings with your partner(s) and listening to their feelings as you work together navigating this crazy world on the path that is right for you.