You may think of yourself as emotionally secure and hard to rattle, but jealousy is a tricky emotion that can sneak up at peculiar times and take you by surprise. As you gain more experience, you will likely discover that reality and fantasy can be two very different things. You or your partner’s reactions might not go according to the script because there are too many little things that can make a big impact. That impact can trigger jealousy.
We can never know what small things push our emotional buttons. Maybe seeing her smile at her phone when he texts or seeing the bull put his arm around her waist could create this negative feeling. This is why it is wise before you commit to trying hotwifing out, you both should be certain that the trust, maturity, and communication is solid.
It is a natural thing to feel jealous. Especially where our partners are concerned. In some instances, this can even add to the appeal. Jealousy becomes a real issue when it is unaddressed and can jeopardize your relationship.
Sharing Your Feelings
The first thing to do is to figure out what kind of jealousy you are experiencing. Is it something minor that you can move beyond on your own? If so look at the reasoning behind this feeling and ask yourself is it justified. Chances are you will realize that you may have blown something out of proportion in your head and after reflecting on it, you aren’t really jealous or fearful of it.
On the other hand, if it is the type of jealousy that is causing resentment, bitterness, or anxiety then it is time to step back and address it. Even if may feel awkward, you should still talk about it with each other. Share with your partner why you feel like this and explain how it is affecting you. Your partner might not have any idea that it bothers you at all, so make sure to speak up for yourself and your feelings.
Likewise, if you see signs of jealousy in your partner, ask them about it in an understanding manner and encourage them to be open about where the issue lies. Take on board how they are feeling and reassure them that they are still your number one. When you are new to the hotwife lifestyle, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement and you may neglect your primary relationship. Don’t forget to involve your partner and regularly reconnect.
Recognize Outside Influences
It might not be anything the hotwife or husband is doing that is the cause of the jealousy, it could just be the specific bull. If he is, for example, younger, taller, or looks like he is better in bed it can be hard not to be a little bit envious. This can also be a problem if a bull is overstepping boundaries, not including the husband or undermining him, and acting disrespectful. This is made worse if the behavior goes unnoticed by his wife or she doesn’t back him up. If you notice any warning signs, it is a good idea to talk about it in private so you can freely communicate.
If you can’t work past this and sort things out with the bull then unfortunately you may need to let him go. As a hotwife in this situation even if you enjoy the bull, you should remember the relationship with your husband should always be the priority. Both partners should have a say on who the hotwife interacts with sexually.
Protect Open & Honest Communication
If your arrangement involves solo hotwife play, don’t be tempted to break any agreed boundaries in the heat of passion. A good way to keep jealousy out of your relationship is to never do anything that can raise your partner’s suspicions. If you do slip up and go further than agreed upon with someone else, it is generally better to come clean as soon as possible. Getting caught up in the heat of the moment is more understandable and forgivable if you are honest from the beginning. Lying can plant a seed of doubt in your partner’s head and even if it genuinely was just the one time they may question everything you have done in the past and what you might do in the future.
You may be tempted to fall straight into bed and go asleep after solo dates, especially if you’re tired from your night out. Remember though that your husband has been up waiting for you anticipating you coming home. Hotwife aftercare isn’t just for the lady. Try and muster the effort to at the very least share some details with him or you risk making him feels left out.
It could also come to pass that a hotwife might develop deeper feelings towards a bull and their relationship might become overly familiar. Don’t beat yourself up too much if this does happen. Developing feelings for someone you are having regular sex with can happen especially if either of you isn’t careful with boundaries. What matters most is how you deal with the situation. Recognize and be honest with yourself about how you feel. If there is any doubt that it is going in the wrong direction, be safe, and protect your relationship by cutting ties with that bull or put it on a long pause.
Prioritizing Your Own Relationship
Don’t forget to still make your own spare time and date nights a priority. Spend quality time together where it’s just you two together without any hotwife lifestyle talk. Check-in with each other often so you are both certain that the situation is still working for you both. If there is something your husband wants to pull back on, don’t be bitter towards him as a result. His enjoyment is as important as yours.
Be aware of how much time you spend texting or talking about your bull in your husband’s presence. Some men may indeed find this a turn on but if it is constant there is also a risk of jealousy developing this way too. When you are having your “you” time, try and keep the other men’s talk to a minimum unless you are certain that it’s something your husband wants to hear. You may need to adjust your hotwifing rules to avoid stressing your relationship.
If you have made every effort to address the issue and jealousy is still a factor then it may be time to reconsider if hotwifing is for you. Don’t continue to partake in something that could put your relationship at risk. There may be something else that might work better. Swinging for example where everyone is getting equal perks might be a better match for your relationship.
It could also help to have an open arrangement where you both get to have sex outside of your relationship as opposed to just one of you. Maybe down the line when you rebuild the trust or it deepens through more time spent together you can even give the hotwifing lifestyle another go.