If you are a young swinger and want to boost your odds of success, keep reading to learn common mistakes you should avoid. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with being young, but you don’t want to be ignorant as you navigate the minefield of the swinging lifestyle. Better to be smart & learn from the missteps of others.
We all want to keep our frustration low and maximize our naughty fun. Let’s chat about some helpful lessons many others learned the hard way.
Vaping Away Sexy Potential
Vaping wrecks swinger experiences. Kissing soon after vaping can leave an unpleasant taste. That is a minor issue. The more significant problem with vaping is that it impacts erections & endurance.
Regular vaping damages your cardio system. That means your body is weaker when it comes time to pump up the equipment for naughty fun. Many swingers will have a better encounter with a healthy non-vaping 40-year-old compared to a vaping 20-year-old.
Take your fitness seriously if you want to impress others with your bedroom activities. It is not just about looking fit but actually being fit. It is easy for young people to look slim and not have wrinkles, but when the sex marathon starts, it will quickly expose those who are genuinely fit vs. the pretenders. If you take a lazy approach, don’t be surprised when you get left behind.
Sabotaged By Porn
Watching porn is fun but can create some horrible problems.
First, let’s remember that porn is fake. We should never use porn as our role model for our bedroom fun. The positions are often horribly uncomfortable & only used because they need good camera angles. The lack of basic safe sex is super cringey. The porn fantasy doesn’t show you the painful UTIs & other headaches. Porn is fine for fantasy, but you should think twice before trying to imitate it.
The other big problem with porn is that it trains you to have no staying power. When you watch porn, you are probably trying to finish as fast as possible. When you play with real swingers, that often means you won’t last long. Practice edging while watching porn. See how long you can play with yourself without going over the line.
Being Too Frugal
To be a swinger, you must spend money or look around for free options. None of us want to waste money, and most of us are on super tight budgets. Your sexual health is not a place to look to cut corners.
Make sure you are doing regular STI testing. If money is tight, see if your local government might offer free or reduced testing. Planned Parenthood also provides many affordable options. STIs tend to be much easier/less painful to treat the sooner they are caught. Protect both your health and reputation with regular testing.
Someone once told us that “condoms are too expensive to buy.” An eternal facepalm moment, but probably other people think the same thing. Do some online sleuthing. Many organizations give away free condoms & websites that offer great deals. Make sure to grab plenty so you won’t run out of condoms. Practice at home with the condoms when you don’t need them so you can figure out which works & feel best for your body. This will help you perform more easily when you need a condom for swinging fun.
Confusing Cockiness With Confidence
Just like porn is a fantasy that shouldn’t be imitated, the same goes for reality TV. They often spotlight people who are mentally trainwrecks behaving in the most toxic ways. It makes for an excellent spectacle for TV but isn’t wise for making real-life connections.
Remember that swinging is more of a team event. If you want to get selected, show that you can be a considerate team player and get along with others. Be helpful & don’t act like an insecure jerk. If you feel nervous, take a moment to calm yourself down. You can have a quick timeout in the bathroom. When you come back, share some nice compliments. Everyone loves to be complimented and will be more interested in being your teammate.
Assuming Everyone Likes Every Fetish
Not all sexy people are into all the different fetish types. Too many young swingers think they can attract others by trying some age play, raceplay, or humiliation play. Think again! Don’t offend anyone. For swinger fun to happen, everyone needs to be happy. It doesn’t matter if something doesn’t offend you. If others feel offended, that will squash any chance of sexy fun. Always be respectful & treat everyone as an equal teammate.
It is much safer to assume they aren’t into any fetish unless they specifically mention it. If you have a fetish, you should use your words and ask if they are interested. Never assume swingers are into anything. Many swingers want a sexy time without adding in these different fetishes.
Thinking Swinging Will Be Easier Than Dating Singles
As a single, you probably mastered the hook-up scene. You were a wiz on Tinder & cruising any bar. Swinging shares many elements of hooking up when you were single, but it dramatically differs. You are no longer playing on easy mode, looking for a one-on-one connection. Swinging is playing on hard mode because you are now looking for a three or four-way connection.
Everyone has the power to veto this sexy connection, so it is exponentially more challenging than dating as a single. You must ensure everyone feels comfortable and that you are compatible with your play styles and sexual orientations. It is not easy to juggle.
Be Your Best Self
Don’t worry. You will be fine. Treat others as you want to be treated. There will be some surprises along the way, which is part of the fun and excitement. As long as you are considerate of others and are a good teammate, it will work out – one way or another.