Feeling a little unsure of yourself after taking an extended break from swinging? Maybe you were pregnant, maybe you were focusing on your relationship, or stuck in a pandemic lockdown. You’ve handled the challenge. Now you are ready to restart having fun again but you are worried.
Relax! We are here to help guide you back to your sexy glory. It can be a bit of a challenge to re-enter the swinging lifestyle after taking a long break. We have several tips & coping techniques to combat any troublesome feelings that might pop-up as you reclaim your sexy swinger membership.
Reconnect with Yourself
Before you share yourself with others, take a moment to think if you are ready for this. Think about what you liked and didn’t like about swinging, why you took the break, and why you think it is the right time to restart. Make sure your partner feels the same way. One of you might need more time until you are ready to move forward.
If you are having a hard time getting out of the vanilla mindset, you can vicariously reconnect with the swinging community by listening to some swinger podcasts or checking out a swinger blog.
Pamper Yourself
Give yourself some self-love. Freshen up your hairstyle, buy a new outfit that makes you feel amazing. If money is tight, you can have an old outfit tailored to better fit you. Work out with your partner to get into better shape and hey who doesn’t enjoy seeing their sexy partner looking sexy while they workout. Then you can have some fun showering together after your workouts.
When was the last time you fooled around in the shower? Trying new things is a good way to break the rut and remind you what it is like having fun with new people doing things differently.
Practice At Home
Do some roleplaying with your own partner. This will help both of you mentally prepare and feel more comfortable when it comes time again to be naked in front of others.
Consider doing some virtual swinger dates from the comfort of your own home. Virtual dates allow you to slowly ease back into the lifestyle while still being surrounded by all the comforts of your own home.
Focus on Fun
Yes, swinging is about sex but its easier to have hot sex when there is a bit of a connection and you’re in the right mindset. You can reach out to your previous swinger friends and arrange a day doing fun things like boating, beer tasting, or whatever is fun to all of you. After having fun during the day, it will be easier to transition to sexy time at night.
If you don’t swinger friends nearby, you can still do this at the swinger club even if you are brand new to the area. Show up at the start of the party and focus on having fun on the dance floor. If you aren’t a dancer, then consider bringing along Cards Against Humanity or a swinger game and invite others to join in your fun time. Making friendly connections can help to alleviate nervous energy and recharge your confidence.
Focus on Them
We can be our own harshest critic so stop it by paying attention to your swinger friends. remind yourself that these sexy people are talking to you because you are awesome. Conquer those self-conscious feelings by accepting the compliments from your partner and your friends. Then return the favor and compliment them.
Look at how sexy your friends are. Their hot bodies and sexy outfits. These people are interested in you! This is a great reminder of why you should feel confident in your amazing self.
Remember to Check In
Remember that if you are having any doubts or weird feelings, that your partner is probably also feeling the same way. Make sure to check in with your partner a bit more than you usually did in the past. What might have felt comfortable in the past to them, might no longer be the case.
Even if you don’t need to worry about boundaries, it is still good to check in with each other to make sure they feel comfortable. Your partner might be in need of a little mental love and support from you. Be great teammates for each other.
Build a Swinger Support Group
You might not be able to share your swinging secret with your regular vanilla support group for help dealing with the stress of re-entering the lifestyle. So reconnect with your swinger friends and use them as allies as you re-navigate the special circumstances in the swinging lifestyle.
If your swinger friends aren’t ready to restart their lifestyle journey (or maybe they retired from swinging), you can still create a swinger support group by making connections on Twitter with swingers. The lifestyle is filled with many friendly & helpful people so don’t feel like you are alone.
Life is Imperfect & Still Great
When re-entering the swinging lifestyle, you are probably going to hit a few bumps along the way. That is OK. Life doesn’t need to be perfect for you and your partner to still have an amazing time. If you found a treasure chest filled with gold but was too heavy for you to carry, would you be unhappy? Of course not! You would adapt and figure out how best to deal with your good luck.
When you hit an unexpected pitfall, remind yourselves to focus on the positives. You have the good luck of an amazing partner and a bright future ahead of you. Use these pitfalls as learning experiences to become an even better and sexier swinger!