Depending on who you ask, the term “hotwife” will probably be explained a little differently by each person, and that is OK. Thankfully there are not lifestyle police enforcing strict definitions. We all have a bit of flexibility to choose our own preferred personal version of this sexy lifestyle.
The simplest definition for the term hotwife is usually a married woman who engages in sexual relationships outside her marriage with her husband’s consent. Yes, consent is a big part of the hotwife lifestyle. Each hotwife has talked with her husband, and he has given his consent for this arrangement. There are a few different kink options that can go hand in hand with hotwifing, and sometimes people can get these mixed up and confused.
Solo or Couple Playtime
A good first decision is whether you will be a solo hotwife or is your husband going to be present during the sex and if he is, will he also be involved. Some hotwives only play when their husband is also present, so these couples only do threesomes, or wife swapping or the husband may just like to watch.
Other hotwives prefer to go out to clubs and bars alone to hook up while their husband stays at home. There are two reasons for a setup like this. The first is the couple share a kink where they both get off on her going out solo to have sex with someone else, him consenting to it and being excited by it, and when she comes home to tell him all about it, and he is turned on by her descriptions they may have some playtime of their own.
The second reason is that they have more of an open relationship. They are both secure enough in their relationship and respect each other’s sexual desires and needs and encourage them to also explore them with other people. It could be a similar situation with him being able to meet other women or maybe not. If you do prefer solo play, click here for some tips to keep you safe while hotwifing.
Cuckolding is what comes to mind for many people when they think about hotwifing, and a lot of times, it comes with negative connotations. Cuckolding will involve one bull or more, a bull being a single alpha male type who engages as the other man with a hotwife. The bull or bulls will have sex with the hotwife either with her alone or in front of her husband.
If alone, many cuckolds get off on the disrespect element and the thought of a big alpha male providing his wife with something he can’t. She may also insult him and mock him when she gets home about how much better her bull was and provide him with details as a form of masochistic punishment on his part.
If the cuckold husband is present, he will have to watch his wife and her bull have sex without him while they sometimes degrade and humiliate him for being lesser of a man. Sometimes they may even demand he performs demeaning sexual favors. This is all consented to, of course, and is a kink that all involved enjoy. It is not for everyone, but if you like it, go for it.
Men who enjoy cuckolding can be looked down upon by society occasionally for being male and enjoying a submissive role which is a huge double standard considering it is lauded as a positive and desirable kink for a lot of women to have. Very often, cuckolding and submissive kinks are pure escapism for men with stressful jobs who are normally the breadwinners and heads of their families. As a result, they enjoy the role reversal of being told what to do and not being the one relied on to make decisions.
Stag and Vixen
A Stag and Vixen couple is almost the exact opposite of the cuckolding power dynamic. The Stag (the male in the relationship) is not submissive and considers himself an alpha male. New bulls to the lifestyle who don’t make an effort to discuss things with their couple first can make the mistake of thinking all hotwife arrangements are cuckold ones. You do not want to insult a Stag by trying to take on a superior role to him.
Single men that want to be a Buck for a Stag & Vixen threesome accept that their position to the couple will always come below the Stag regardless if playing in a threesome or solo with the Vixen. The couple views the Buck’s relationship with the Vixen as a sexy bonus and nowhere close to the bond that they share in their relationship. The Buck always plays second fiddle to her husband in these relationships.
Swinging is generally couples having fun with other couples. They find each other attractive and, as the name suggests swap spouses for sexy fun. They may also practice group sex, and this can become a regular occurrence between some couples, and as a result, they sometimes develop trust and bonds, and everyone’s sex life is improved as a result considering it offers some variety.
Some hotwives like to play the part of a single unicorn (aka unattached single lady) and attend swinging parties so they can enjoy group sex or gangbangs.
If you are involved with an open relationship, it is debatable whether this would be considered hotwifing, but we won’t tell anyone. Open relationships can be sexual, but they tend to also have the possibility of something more developing.
Swinging and hotwifing generally concentrate on the sex with a third person, and they go home with their own partner at the end of the night. Open relationships often are more about exploring other partners outside your relationship, possibly on a deeper, more romantic level.
When exploring the lifestyle scene, you will probably come across many different setups and arrangements. Considering it’s just a label that can cover so many different kinks, the best practice is to discuss everyone’s boundaries and limits because everyone will have different preferences.
If you are considering becoming a hotwife, the shortlist of dynamics we’ve mentioned are just the most common ones. If you and your husband want to go down the avenue of you being sexual with other men, it is up to you both to come up with what works for you and your relationship. It might be something completely different from anything we’ve described, but thankfully you aren’t limited, so enjoy the flexibility. Be as creative as you like with your hotwife choice.