Now that you’ve honestly communicated to your partner that the idea of an open marriage excites you and you’ve both agreed to it, the next step is to lay the ground rules for hotwifing. To have a healthy open relationship, there must be an understanding between you and your hotwife about how you will be exploring this type of non-monogamy.
You want to ensure that neither of you has to do more than what is agreed, and either one can back out of the arrangement for any reason. We want hotwifing to be a bonus for our relationships, not something that causes anyone to feel uncomfortable or strain our loving relationship.
Vanilla people tend to view cheating in straightforward terms, but couples exploring the hotwife lifestyle tend to see cheating from a more nuanced perspective. That doesn’t mean it is impossible to cheat while hotwifing. Remember that even if you’re in an open relationship, you’re still in a committed relationship with your loving partner. There is still trust. Breaking that trust would be seen as breaking the commitment in your loving relationship.
Before exploring the hotwife lifestyle, think about what rules will ensure you don’t veer into a place either of you would consider cheating. Don’t worry about how other people would define cheating. Focus on what will work best for you & your partner.
If you are unsure, starting slower and with more restrictions is safer. It is easier to open things up more in the future. Going beyond the comfort zone of either partner can lead to situations that can’t be undone or forgotten. It’s better to talk and clarify too much than make an inaccurate assumption leading to hurt feelings. Ensure your sexy, fun activities stay on the right side of your definition of cheating that you both feel comfortable and happy about.
Here are some common hotwifing topics that couples have clear rules & boundaries about:
Playing With Married Men?
It’s somewhat of an unwritten rule that hotwives should only have sexual affairs with single men or married men who are in an open relationship themselves. Many people would see it as cheating if a hotwife is fooling around with a man cheating on his monogamous marriage.
Some people don’t worry about other relationships and leave it up to the play partners to handle their own situations. They may even prefer playing with married men as it could feel safer not having to worry about the man falling in love. Other couples prefer only playing with single men to guarantee no cheating. It is also easier to schedule with a single person who doesn’t have to consult with their own partner.
It would be wise to talk about your boundaries and how you will screen play partners to ensure they fall within your acceptable boundaries. The sad truth is that some men will lie about having permission to play with hotwives or claim to be single when they are in a relationship.
Overnight Hotwife Dates?
No two hotwife dates are the same. A hookup can last for a few minutes in the back of a car or overnight in a hotel and everything in between. Consider whether you are comfortable with a hotwife date that spends the night at another man’s place or whether you need to be home together regardless of how late the date may end so they can reconnect together after hotwifing.
Factor in the distance that needs to be traveled and the security of the location where the hotwife date will also occur. Spending the night doesn’t always mean sex will happen, but it can. Think about the lady’s safety and also the safety of the feelings within your relationship.
There is no single right or wrong answer. Some couples feel fine with sex but draw the line at cuddling and falling asleep with something else. You should do what works best for you. If unsure, start with shorter dates and expand them as your comfort level grows.
Terms of Endearment
Some married couples like to call each other pet names such as “baby,” “honey,” “sweetheart,” and the like. These are names they’ve usually had for each other since the beginning of the relationship, so this tends to be something special shared by the couple.
Many husbands don’t want their hotwives to call or be called intimate pet names by other men. Maybe some nicknames feel ok for both of you, but others might be better reserved for only your relationship. Then again, some people may find it extra thrilling to share intimate pet names. You decide what is suitable for you.
Kissing While Hotwifing
Some couples like to reserve kissing for themselves. Those romantic kisses help release dopamine, the happy hormone. Couples can worry that intimacy will lead to jealousy and marital problems later on.
You may want to keep kissing out of bounds to keep things simple. This tends to be one of the first hotwife rules to be rolled back and allowed by many couples. On paper, it sounds like a good safeguard, but in practice, it is challenging to enjoy yourself in the bedroom while avoiding such a basic practice.
Penetration and Body Fluids
Sex-wise, penetration and body fluids (like semen) are more sensitive rules because of the potential danger to our health with STIs. It depends on the husband and hotwife to decide whether other men should cum, inside or elsewhere, and whether or not to use a condom. We understand it can be hot and feel better without condoms. There are dangers of infections and diseases, which can also be transmitted back to the husband afterward.
This is one of the more serious rules to think about. It is common to require everyone to be tested for STIs before going on a sex date. Overall, it would be safest for men to use a condom. It is also safer to skip anal play as that can significantly increase the STI risks.
Besides health risks, there is also an emotional risk. You may have a special sex position that you want to reserve for your intimacy. Maybe you both love a particular fetish or practice a dom/sub relationship at home and don’t want to open that aspect to outsiders. You are in the driver’s seat so choose what works for you. Some single men may not like your limits, but that will be their loss.
Which Details To Share?
Hotwife play is done chiefly away from the husband. So how well informed should a hotwife keep her husband about the dates & bedroom activity? Some say it is better to share every little piece of information and not keep any secrets. This can help prevent any feelings of cheating & promote open communication. Honestly, not everyone enjoys that approach.
It can be burdensome keeping each other up to date and remembering every tiny detail. Not everyone wants to hear all the details, even if you have a photographic memory. Couples should figure out what details are important to them & how fast they should be shared.
Sharing the hot details may include pictures or videos of the hotwife and her sexual partner having sex in different positions if that is something the husband would enjoy. It may also be in the form of showing sext interchanges. Some couples have access to each other’s accounts, not solely for monitoring activities but also protection. When a lady goes out to play solo, it can be reassuring to know where she is in case she needs a helping hand.
The rule that stands above all others is that no agreement means no hotwifing. Even if a husband may be enthusiastic about calling all the shots, the wife must agree first and foremost. Or if a husband wants to be humiliated, they must agree to that aspect.
Hotwifing can only be achieved through open communication, which has already been mentioned in this article, as that is how it should be in all relationships. Couples should be mature enough to express their interests to each other. Disregarding either person is a guaranteed trip to drama & regret. This is not about being selfish or cheating. That type of approach will damage your relationship. Hotwifing should be a bonus to your already happy relationship.