Dear men…. rest assured that you are all manly men and the world is envious of your libido and sexual prowess. Ok, now that your ego has been assuaged let’s cover things that guys just really don’t like admitting – we are all getting older. Things change when life changes. In other words don’t freak out if your libido might not be as high as your horny teenage years or even as high as when you were in your thirties.
When ladies enter the lifestyle, many of them may find their libido increases while men may find their libido moving in the other direction. Of course every situation and each couple is different so your experience may differ. For any worried couples, we’d like to explain why this isn’t a huge problem.
Generally, ladies face much more pressure from society to be “good” and not sexual. When ladies enter the lifestyle, they usually are greeted with a deluge of compliments and positive encouragement as they embrace their sexier side. This reversal of mental pressure empowers many ladies to relax which helps their libido to flourish.
Now guys often face the opposite situation. Society often encourages men to act more virile and possessive. So men can face enhanced mental pressure when they enter the lifestyle. To complicate matters for guys there are also certain biological issues like dropping testosterone levels as men age which can lead to lower libido. We also think there is a third element that can impact men in the lifestyle – satisfaction. Once you enter the lifestyle, you can more easily satisfy your hottest fantasies. When threesomes or orgies become commonplace in your sexual diary there can be less reason to have a strong libido. You have nothing to prove. Your proud sexual history can make a porn star blush. It can be natural to feel less drive and ambition to simply pump up the numbers to your already impressive sexual history considering you already take home the hottest woman every night – your own wife/girlfriend.
Exploring the lifestyle helps reinforce what we already know that we love & cherish our partners. They are the best lady for us. Even though it is fun playing with others, when you know your partner is the best for you, there is less desire to chase after new play partners compared to when you were new to swinging.
Many men (but not everyone so relax) have discovered that their desire for other women is not as strong the longer they stay in the lifestyle. This is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. Between the different mental and biological reasons, it is likely you will feel a change in your libido.
If you feel libido not as high as it used to be, relax and be happy because it is often a sign of good things in your life. Focus on the positive aspects in your life. The amazing lady in your life, your proud sexual history and all the other blessings in your life.
If you are still worried, you can check out your testosterone levels with your doctor. If they find a problem besides normal aging, they can prescribe you some stuff. It would be very wise to improve your diet and exercise. Many men can gain more benefit from improved diet & exercise than from expensive medicines.
As for swinging with a changing libido, there are many options for you. You can consider a MFM threesome or a group play session where there will be multiple men. Many experienced couples prefer these type of play sessions. To them it is not about score keeping but rather a fun & sexy time. For example you would probably feel ok if you swapped with another couple and one of you choose to only have oral while the other choose to have full play. Swinging is more fun when we don’t keep score and just let each other choose how best to enjoy themselves. A respectful single guy in the lifestyle can make a MFM play session into a great memory for all involved.
Before you tell yourself that you will never consider a MFM situation, take a deep breath and think about it. You may find the longer you are in the lifestyle that your comfort level will grow and you might be open to different opportunities like MFM or group sessions. Why? Well besides feeling more comfortable and confident from your lifestyle experiences it can be the hottest thing you will ever see. Your lady is the hottest person to you, so seeing the hottest & most attractive woman having sex is basically seeing the hottest porn you will ever see in your lifetime and you have the option of joining the action whenever you want. Just imagine listening and seeing your amazing wife show off her sexual body & erotic skills. Ok, go take a break from reading and fool around with your hot lady over that super smoking thought.
Just because some society pressures might imply that every guy should always want to fool around with every woman but that just isn’t real life. Remember these are the societal pressures that imply it is wrong for adults to have consensual sex. Don’t worry about what society tries to imply is right or wrong. Don’t worry about labels or judgments. Worry about talking with your partner to decide what is best for both of you to enjoy life.
Our bodies aren’t robots. They will change as time and experience grows. So relax and help reinforce your amazing relationship by being honest with communicating with each other. Libido is a natural thing so like any natural thing it can change over time.