Swinging is often seen as a couple’s activity and one they do together. But this isn’t always the case. For many different reasons, sometimes one partner may want to go out solo. Some assume that the ones getting the most enjoyment from non-monogamy are men, but there are just as many women who introduce it to their partner and enjoy it just as much. Yes, there are absolutely ladies in the swinging community who play solo. And we think there are quite a few more who are interested but haven’t taken the leap – yet.
So why are women on their own so rare in the scene anyway? Is it because they don’t have the same appetite for sex as men? That is definitely not the case! Maybe the ladies are more concerned about the risks of being outed or don’t feel as comfortable meeting strangers alone.
When a lady decides to be sexually adventurous, she may not immediately feel comfortable. As she experiences the reward of turning fantasies into reality, it can provide exciting momentum to overcome the nervous energy she might be feeling.
So let’s take a look at a few different ways and why wives might choose to go solo.
It’s no secret that single women are a lot more sought after in the lifestyle than single men. The same applies to a wife with a hall pass to go out solo. Single women in the swinging community are referred to as unicorns due to their rarity, and a wife swinging alone will be treated very much like those single unicorns when it comes to receiving attention.
She will enjoy a lot of perks not available to a single male or solo husband, like free entry to clubs and parties, cheap or free drinks where they serve alcohol on the premises, and likely a higher level of interest from potential play partners.
Many Reasons for Solo Play
There are all sorts of swingers who are in all sorts of different situations. Here are some of the more common scenarios where wives play solo in the lifestyle.
Traveling – If a couple spends a good amount of time apart due to business travel or other needs, then a hall pass to for solo play while traveling could be an option. Maybe the husband is visiting old college friends or maybe she is deployed in another country. Instead of being alone while they are separated, a couple might feel it would be exciting to try some solo fun. She can even share the story with her husband and give him some vicarious entertainment.
Mismatched Play Styles – Not everyone likes the same experience. Some swingers may like it slower, or quieter, or whatever. If a husband prefers to be loud with other women and the wife has a hard time enjoying herself with the noisy distraction, then solo play swinging could be a good solution for them.
Four-Way Connection Troubles – It can be challenging for a swinger couple to find a four-way connection with another couple. Sometimes, there might be a great three-way connection but maybe your husband doesn’t find the other wife attractive. The option of playing solo could give the flexibility for the wife (or husband) to still have fun.
Hotwifing – Some swinger couples find themselves more attracted to the hotwifing lifestyle or at least curious about it. This is a good option if the husband isn’t as interested in being with other women. Hotwifing includes Stag & Vixen couples and cuckold couples. Those are very different concepts, so read about them before you accidentally offend anyone.
There are plenty of other reasons why a couple might find that solo swinging play is a good match for them. The only thing that really matters is that you are both honest with each other as you decide what is best for your own relationship.
Communicating with Your Husband
Remember, swinging requires mutual consent between partners. Otherwise, it is cheating. Don’t force your husband into something that he isn’t comfortable with. Show him the same respect and understanding that you want from him.
Going out as a swinging couple is one thing to many husbands, but being okay with his wife going out alone may be a completely different matter to your partner. Aside from possible jealous feelings and a dash of FOMO, he may also be worried about your safety. Some men may worry that your interest in playing solo says something negative about them. Make sure to reassure your hubby that this isn’t the case for you. Before you start this conversation, you might want to think about possible solutions to address concerns you anticipate that he’ll have. Here are more tips for bringing up hotwifing with your husband.
If you are approaching going solo as a means to fix relationship issues, it is unlikely to be successful. When in doubt, play it safe. Work together with your husband on making your relationship stronger before you try expanding it to include solo swinging play.
Different Experiences For Solo Ladies
There is no getting away from the fact that casual sex is a more complicated issue for women than for men. We’re not talking about any morality double standards based on gender. When swinging as a couple, women typically derive a feeling of security from being accompanied by their partners. When going alone, a swinging woman will need to be more careful with screening play partners to ensure her safety and comfort.
Some precautions can help single women/solo wives feel more comfortable and at ease. If you are meeting someone from the internet, use a reputable swinger website. Ideally, one that allows validation/certifications from other swingers. This way, you will have access to other users’ feedback.
Arranging Solo Dates
Once you find a good match, go for a coffee or cocktail in a public place before agreeing to sex. Even if you intend to not make an emotional connection, it is still wise to get a feel for them and their vibe first. You want to make sure you are a good match before clothes start falling off. Of course, you can back out or say no at any time, but it’s less awkward to do so while you still have your underwear on.
If the public chat goes well, it is time to pick a spot for sexy fun. One option is to go to swinger clubs and parties that have playspaces. You probably don’t want to show someone where you live either until you have built up a certain level of trust. Even if you trust the man, your husband might not want another person in your shared space. So talk with your husband to figure out what is the best option for your situation.
Always let someone know where you are at all times. Depending on how your husband feels about it, the perfect person to tell may be him or it may be better to rely on a friend. Whoever you choose, make sure to share your location, plans for the evening, and as much detail about who you are meeting as possible.
Keeping Priorities Straight
Wives can definitely have a great time swinging solo (assuming she & her husband are both comfortable with it). Our final tip for solo swinging wives is to enjoy themselves but remember the real priorities in their life. New relationship energy can be exciting, but it can’t match the amazing relationship you have with your husband.
As you explore this new dynamic, proceed slowly to ensure you don’t accidentally introduce any drama into your primary relationship. You and your husband will likely experience some unusual feelings as you try this new dynamic. Be honest and regularly check in with each other to ensure this solo play is adding to your relationship and not backfiring.