Plus size bodies are beautiful. There’s no denying that. You’ve got curves to rock and a sense of style all your own. But sometimes, it can be difficult to decide what to wear to swinging events. From meet and greets at vanilla locations to sex clubs and orgies, every event seems to have its own rules. So, how can you dress to impress in the swinging lifestyle? We’ve put together a collection of tips, tricks, advice, and of course, shops to help you create a plus size swinger’s wardrobe for every occasion that will leave you feeling confident, beautiful, and sexy as hell.
Building Your Swinger Lifestyle Wardrobe
For your swinging wardrobe, you’re going to need a couple of simple outfits to wear to vanilla events, a few sexy outfits for dates, a few sets of lingerie that make you look and feel awesome, and maybe even something kinky to wear to fetish events.
Plus Size Wardrobe Tips for Swingers
Before we get into the details of building your new wardrobe, here are a few tips to keep in mind while putting your outfits together.
Start with What You Have
You don’t have to completely change your look when stepping into the swinging lifestyle. While you’ll probably want to add some new sexy pieces and buy some spicy lingerie, a lot of the clothes you already have will be great for swinging dates and events. Start by choosing a few of your favorite outfits and looking for ways to spice them up a bit.
Focus on What You Love About Your Body
Maybe you love the way you look in a great bra or have an amazing pair of legs. Maybe you’ve got an ass to die for. Whatever it is, you will want to choose lingerie and clothing that highlight your best assets.
A sexy red bra will draw the eye to an ample chest and remind you that you are absolutely fierce. A skirt in a bold pattern can bring attention to sexy legs or an amazing butt. Select items that highlight whatever you love best about your body, and you’ll be well on your way to creating a fantastic wardrobe for swinging.
Look for Confidence Boosting Pieces
In fashion, confidence is everything. Think about the clothes you have and how you feel about wearing them. Do heels or boots make you feel like a total boss? Make them a staple of your swinging wardrobe. Do you feel sexy in leather or lace? Build your outfits around those materials. You want to create outfits that you feel amazing in. This is way more important than worrying about what you should be wearing.
Splurge on What Matters
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to create a decent swinging wardrobe. Chances are good that you already have a lot of what you need. However, there will be times when you want to spend a little more on something special, whether it’s a new lingerie set, a hot pair of heels, or the classic little black dress. When you find something that looks amazing on you, go ahead and buy it. You’ll be sure to get plenty of use out of it.
Turn Some Heads
Nothing gives you a confidence boost quite like turning a few heads. To do so, you’ll need a few attention-grabbing pieces. These can be lingerie for sex clubs or simply eye-catching pieces for vanilla dates and meet-ups.
When choosing your attention-grabbing pieces, look for bright colors, bold patterns, sparkles, glitter, black leather, velvet, or sequins. These materials all stand out, helping you to catch the attention of whoever you’ve got your eye on.
Sexy Lingerie Makes All the Difference
No matter what you’re wearing or how vanilla the location might be, wear your sexy lingerie, even if the rest of your clothing is pretty simple. There’s nothing hotter than knowing you’ve got your most enticing lingerie on under your clothes. It’s like a sexy little secret. And who knows when you’ll get the opportunity to show it off. The swinging world is full of surprises.
Don’t Forget the Shoes
Shoes are powerful. Whether you choose high heels, strappy sandals, or badass boots, the shoes you wear say something about who you are and how you feel about yourself. If you don’t have a pair of shoes that make you feel like an absolute hottie, now is the time to find some.
The right accessories pull a look together and make it complete. Look for accessories that speak to your particular sexual interests. What role do you want to play in the swinging community? Are you a hot wife, a dominatrix, a sub, or into a specific kink or fetish? Your accessories can help you attract the right people for you. If you’re stuck, look up accessories online using your role, kink, or fetish as a keyword. You’ll be sure to find something that works for you.
All About Lingerie
Your bbw swinging wardrobe starts with your lingerie. It’s the first thing you put on when getting ready and the last thing you take off when getting frisky. While you can swing with any lingerie you have, you’ll probably want to upgrade your bra and panty drawer, add a few new items, and try out some lingerie options that you’ve never tried before. Swinging is all about exploring and trying new things, and that extends to your lingerie. So, get ready to create a lingerie wardrobe that brings out your inner sex goddess.
Don’t Sacrifice Comfort for Style
When choosing lingerie, you’ll likely be faced with a lot of options that look good but don’t feel great. Unless you really love the way you look in something, don’t try to push through the discomfort. Uncomfortable isn’t sexy. Instead, find something that looks just as good while also feeling good. Your comfort matters.
Get Fitted by a Professional
It may surprise you to know that many women wear the wrong size bra and don’t even know it. If you haven’t been professionally fitted in a while (or at all) you could be one of them. The wrong size bra can leave you feeling uncomfortable, whether it’s worn alone or under your day-to-day clothes. If you feel like your bra might not be the perfect fit, visit a lingerie shop that offers professional fittings. As a bonus, you might even leave with a new bra or lingerie set!
Don’t Stress Over Sizes
The size of your lingerie doesn’t matter. What matters is that it fits right and makes you look and feel good. Never try to squeeze into lingerie that doesn’t fit, simply because it’s a smaller size. That never looks good. Instead, find pieces that fit your shape and wear them with confidence. You are so much more than just a number on a tag.
Choose Cover Ups that Make You Feel Sexy
You don’t have to bare it all to look sexy in lingerie. If you don’t feel completely comfortable in basic lingerie, look for pieces that provide a little coverup. Sheer chemises and robes, babydoll dresses, lace bodysuits, rompers, and even panties with skirts can help you to feel like your sexy self. Once you’re comfortable wearing less, you can move on to lingerie that shows a little more. Of course, if flowy lingerie is your thing, there’s no need to change it.
Don’t Be Afraid to Show Off Your Curves
Having a plus-size body usually means that you have plenty of sexy curves. There’s no need to hide those curves under cover-ups or full-coverage lingerie. Your body is gorgeous, and the people swinging with you are going to be glad to see as much of it as possible. Wear that sheer lace bra or the tiny thong panties. If they make you feel sexy, you’re sure to look sexy in the eyes of your swinging partners.
How to Feel Comfortable and Confident in Your Lingerie
Stripping down in front of a new partner, a group, or even a club full of people can be a daunting experience bringing up body insecurity issues, but if you’re comfortable in your lingerie, the experience can be invigorating and fun. Luckily, there are tricks to feel just as confident in your lingerie as you do in your favorite outfit.
Choose Lingerie That YOU Love
While it’s nice to surprise a partner with a set of lingerie that you know they’ll love, your own comfort should always come first. When choosing lingerie, make sure that you select lingerie that you feel good in. If your partner or partners have a kink or fetish that you want to incorporate, there are ways to do that without sacrificing your own comfort.
Lounge in Your Lingerie
Just like a new pair of sexy kitten heels, the trick to feeling comfortable in your lingerie is simply to wear it. You don’t need to wait for a special occasion or save your lingerie for the bedroom. Put it on whenever you feel like getting cozy. Watch TV, read a book, or have a self-care night in your new set. This will help you get used to the way your lingerie feels and improve the way you feel in it.
Get Sexy Solo in Your Lingerie
Nothing makes you feel like a total babe quite like a solo session in new lingerie. Putting on a hot new lingerie set and giving yourself a little self-romance can be exactly what you need to break in your new lingerie. This allows you to get used to the way your lingerie feels when you move and allows you to work through any difficulties with straps or closures in a judgment-free space. So, before you try your new lingerie with a partner, try it with yourself first.
Have Sex with Your Partner in New Lingerie
Your primary partner should be someone who knows you well and who you are used to being intimate with. This intimacy makes it easier to wear and take off new lingerie. Not sure about the best way to take it off? Let your partner help you figure it out. Want to keep it on during sex and see how it feels? Your partner will surely be glad to help with that.
Follow Body Positivity Influencers on Social Media
It can be hard to feel confident in lingerie when the only lingerie photos you see are of fitness influencers and models. It’s all too easy to start comparing your body to theirs. Luckily, the body positivity movement is here to help. Gorgeous women in all shapes and sizes share their real bikini and lingerie bodies, dimples and all so that you can more easily see the beauty in your own. If you’re having trouble feeling comfortable and confident in your lingerie, check out a few of their feeds and see how gorgeous plus-sized bodies can look in lingerie.
A few body positivity influencers on Instagram who you might want to follow:
Ashley Graham @ashleygraham
Chelsea Culbertson @choosingchelsea
Megan Jayne Crabbe @meganjaynecrabbe
Mik Zazon @mikzazon
Nelly London @_nelly_london
Olivia Campbell @curvycampbell
Have a Boudoir or Lingerie Photo Shoot
Boudoir photographers have a way of showing you just how amazing you look, whether you’re posing nude or in lingerie. If you need a nice confidence boost and can afford a shoot, find a boudoir photographer in your area and book a session. Alternatively, you can take your own photos or take photos with your partner to hype each other up. Just remember to keep the photos in a safe location where only you can find them, unless, of course, you want them to be seen.
What to Wear for Specific Occasions
Once you have your swinging wardrobe put together, you’ll need to know what to wear and when to wear it. Different events, occasions, and locations have their own dress codes and expectations. So, it’s a good idea to do a little research before getting ready for an event.
Meet and Greets: Your Getting to Know You Outfit
Meet and Greets, lifestyle meetups, and friendly swinger house parties are great places to get to know other swingers, mingle with potential partners, have fun, and talk openly about swinging in a judgment-free space. But what do you wear?!
Since most meet and greets take place in public places, it’s a good idea to keep your outfit fairly vanilla. Use the location to choose your outfit. If the meet-up is at a bar or club, wear your favorite club outfit. If it’s at a restaurant, dress more casually.
But since swingers are more likely to want to mingle or even play after the meet-up, you might want to wear your sexy lingerie under your clothes, just in case. You never know where the day or night might lead.
Swinger Dates: Vanilla Locations
You’ve met a potential partner, and you’re going on a date or double date to a vanilla location. You want to look your best, but you also want to make sure you’re not outing your date (or dates). Your best bet is to dress naturally, wearing whatever you would normally wear to the location. It helps if you know the person you are going out with well enough to know what they usually wear and what their expectations might be. When in doubt, choose something comfortable but attractive that doesn’t show too much skin. You can always wear your favorite lingerie underneath, in case you end up going back to their place or yours.
Swinger Dates: Their Place or Yours
What do you wear when you’re invited to your date’s place or have them over to yours? At your own place, you make the rules, but you might want to wear something sexy but casual when answering the door. This allows you to gauge their expectations of the night.
Will it be hot and heavy right away, or will you have dinner first? Is sex even on the table for the evening? It’s hard to know, but most of the time, your date will give you clues as to what they are expecting, just as you are giving them clues about your own expectations.
Are your texts relaxed and varied in topic, or do you talk mostly about sex?
At home, you can always step away to ‘change into something more comfortable,’ so, don’t stress too much about what to wear. Just be yourself.
If you’re going to their place, dress casually and pack any lingerie accessories that don’t fit under your clothes in your purse or bag. You can always put them on later if it looks like things are heating up.
Either way, wear your most enticing lingerie under your clothes. If you and your date turn out to have great chemistry and things go well, you’ll be really glad you did.
Swingers Clubs and Sex Clubs: Layer Your Look
When visiting a swinger sex club, there’s always a chance that you’ll want to take part in the action. But you may not want to strip down right away. So, dress in layers, with your sexiest lingerie beneath an outfit that makes you feel both attractive and comfortable.
Start with something you’d wear to get a drink at a regular club, though it can be a little more provocative if you like. This way, you can settle in, get a drink, have a look around, and then decide if you’d like to participate in any of the many activities that will be going on.
A little black dress is perfect for this, but you can also go with something racier if you want. At the club, you’ll see people in all stages of dress and undress, so don’t worry. No matter what you wear, you’ll fit in just fine. Just make sure that whatever you wear is easy to slip out of when you’re ready to play. Choose shoes that make you feel sexy, but are also comfortable enough to walk and dance in.
Once you’re in the club, you’ll want your lingerie to match the vibe of the club, making it easier to strip down. Check to see if the club has a specific theme and choose your lingerie accordingly. If you don’t have lingerie that fits the theme of the night, a few accessories can go a long way in making your lingerie really work for you.
Sex Parties: Two Outfits are Better than One!
Swinger sex parties can be a wild experience, especially for someone unaccustomed to them, and no two sex parties are the same. When deciding what to wear, talk to the host of the party to see what they have planned for the event. Will it be a basic party where swingers are allowed to have sex in private rooms, a party for a specific fetish or kink, or an all-out orgy? Knowing what the event will be like will help you to choose an outfit that fits the type of party you’re going to.
In most cases, you’ll be allowed to change or disrobe at some point, so wear your typical party style and dress for fun underneath. You can also bring a change of clothes if you have a fetish outfit or lingerie you’d like to change into. Most parties will offer a place for you to change and privacy to do so.
If the party has a fetish or kink theme, you can use accessories to make your outfit match the event. Even better, toys can totally be part of your outfit for the night, as long as the host allows them. If bringing toys might make the night more fun, check in with the host to make sure they’re allowed.
Let Your Swinger’s Wardrobe Evolve as You Go
Swinging is an adventure, and adventures tend to change people. As you grow into the swinging lifestyle, you’ll likely learn new things about yourself and be changed by the people you meet. You may develop a love of role-play or get really into a certain kink. You may discover that leather, lace, or even latex is the material that makes you feel your sexiest. You may develop a love of BDSM and need all new outfits for your swinging dates.
Don’t stress over building an entire swinging wardrobe right away. You don’t have to spend a ton of money or buy elaborate outfits for your first sex party. The people you meet and date won’t care nearly as much about the clothes as they care about the person who is wearing them. So, put together a basic swinger’s wardrobe that makes you feel great, and then let it develop as you go. Then, get out there and enjoy the fun!