Would you like to have a threesome or foursome but have no idea how to bring up swinging with your partner? Whether you’ve been together for just a couple of months or a few good years, having sexual fantasies involving other people besides your significant other is perfectly normal. Bringing them up, though, is a whole different thing. Sex talk is still a taboo for many couples. At the same time, being unfulfilled from a sexual standpoint can damage your relationship. However, you can’t just join a swinging club or organize a night out with another couple without having talked about it with your better half. If you’re stuck, here are a few tips for bringing up the conversation without upsetting your partner.
- Start With Soft Questions
If you have trouble discussing swinging with your partner, chances are communication between you two is not the best. A simple way to stay on the safe side is by asking soft questions. Before introducing the idea of group sex, ask about their wildest sexual fantasies.
There is a chance your partner will share a group sex fantasy, and you can take advantage of the moment and move the discussion further.
If they have a different fantasy, you can take your turn and share yours. Ultimately, ask what they think about swinging and a threesome or foursome experience, but don’t say it out loud that you want it.
- Hot Talk During Sex
You hopefully know by now if your better half would fancy the idea of swinging, but fantasy doesn’t mean acceptance. To further test the waters, bring up the talk while you’re having sex.
For instance, if you’re bringing up the idea to your wife, you could use a sex toy to simulate a threesome, then ask if she’d like to try it for real. If you’re bringing up the idea to your husband, ask who else he’d like to have in bed with you. Don’t bring up the idea of swinging right after sex. Let your partner think and hopefully start a conversation about it.
- Talk About it Openly
After having induced the idea of a threesome or foursome during sex, your partner might bring it up either as a conversation topic or as an erotic element during foreplay. If they don’t bring it up, it’s time to have an open conversation about it. The key to any successful relationship is communication, and you should feel comfortable enough to talk about anything with your partner.
Make it clear that you could be possibly sexually attracted to another person and would love to explore this new world together, as a couple. However, you should be careful how you expose your ideas. Suggesting a threesome could feel egoistic, especially if you’re suggesting a threesome with another woman to your girlfriend or wife. A man could feel he is not enough or that you’re not satisfied by his performance if you’re a woman suggesting a threesome with another guy.
Your best bet is to bring up the idea of swinging with another couple. Maybe you could even create an account on a swinging site if your partner is open to the idea. Once you’re sure that your partner is up for it, you could join a swinging club or start dating couples you’ve met online.
How Not To Bring Up Swinging With Your Partner
No matter how much you want to try swinging, there are a few things you should absolutely avoid if you don’t want to bring unnecessary damage to your relationship.
- Don’t Be Pushy
If you have tried in all ways to bring up the idea of swinging, but your partner didn’t give you at least a yellow light, be considerate about their point of view and don’t push things. If your partner has a weaker personality, you might convince them to have a foursome against their will, and that could be the end of your relationship.
- Don’t Hurry
Swinging is not something to take lightly. Your partner might like the idea, but perhaps they need time to think about it. If you’ve got a yellow light, don’t hurry to get to the action. Show your support and help your partner understand whether swinging is something they really want to do.
For instance, you could watch swinging movies together, read books or blogs, visit a swinging club to have a real glimpse into the lifestyle, and even chat on forums. Give your partner all the space they need to make an informed decision before planning your first encounter.
- Don’t Be Disrespectful
In fact, if you’re disrespectful, you don’t deserve to be in a relationship, to begin with, let alone becoming a swinger. The most important thing to understand is that your partner’s feelings and comfort must come before anything else. If they don’t like the idea at all or are not yet sure about it, show your support, love, and consideration rather than disrespect.
Your partner may also be reluctant if they don’t know what swinging is or if they have a wrong understanding of the concept; so, make sure they are well-informed before judging their lack of adventurous spirit.
In a society where sex talk is still a taboo, it could be tricky to bring up swinging with your partner. We hope the tips above can help you have a fruitful conversation about your deepest fantasies and desires.
Swinging can be a fun, rewarding experience for both partners, and it can empower your relationship. However, it is crucial that everyone involved enjoys it.
More often than not, having a bit of patience and helping your partner understand more about this lifestyle before planning a date with another couple could lead to a big green light.