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You are here: Home / Swinging Basics / Swinging While Black

Swinging While Black

Many African American couples exploring consensual non-monogamy wonder if there are any black people in the swinging lifestyle.  That is a simple answer – there are plenty of black couples and sexy singles in the swinging world.  So what’s it like for black swingers?  That is a much more complicated answer.  We wish we could say that we live in a perfectly colorblind society, but we all know that is just not reality.  Here is a rundown of some common questions.

How to find black swingers?

Swingers are a reflection of the local population.  If your local area has many African Americans, then expect to see many black people at the local swinger club.  If you live in Wisconsin, expect to find many white hockey fans eating bratwurst (yeah, it’s a stereotype).  The local swinger parties are attended by the swingers that live in your local neighborhood (or at least within driving distance) so expect roughly the same demographics, including the same cultural and minority groups.

Since the swinger clubs and parties reflect the local population and most cities don’t have a majority of black people, a black person is usually in the minority at lifestyle parties.  Depending on the local area, you might be the only black people at a swinger event. It might not always feel comfortable being different and standing out in a crowd (especially if you are shy or an introverted swinger). Still, thankfully the swinging community is friendly and welcoming to all new people.

If you are trying to connect with black swingers specifically, there are some online groups on the swinger dating websites that you can join.  These groups are helpful to connect with other local swingers.  Some travel groups cater to African American swingers.  They will arrange hotel takeover parties for African American swingers (but all are welcome) because sometimes it’s nice not to be the only black person in a crowd.

Your best bet is to join the swinger dating site that is most popular for your local area and then look through the profiles for couples that you find attractive.  It doesn’t really help to join a site if it doesn’t have many people in your local area.

Are there racist issues in the swinging lifestyle?

The swinging world is just like the real world.  Usually, there aren’t overtly racist issues, but it is not 100% sunshine and lollipops, just like the real world.  Some swingers say outright or hint on their online swinger dating profile that they only want to meet couples of the same race. It is not common, but it happens.

On the flip side, other couples have turned brown skin into a fetish and actively seek it out.  Be careful with those people.  It might sound fun being in demand for the color of your skin, but some of those people only see the color of your skin and not you as a person.  They are more interested in the role play fantasy in their head and don’t value you as a person. These people aren’t interested in you as a sexy person. You are more like a sex toy in their role play fantasy.  Thankfully, this is also not very common.

With most swingers, the color of your skin doesn’t matter in the swinging lifestyle.  The lifestyle appreciates sexy latino swingers, black swingers,  Asian lifestylers, all other fun & respectful people.  The only time skin color comes up for most swingers is when they spend too much time naked on the beach without using any sunscreen – ouch!

What about interracial swinging?

The vast majority of swingers pay much more attention to personalities and sexy smiles than skin color.  Interracial swinging is very common among most swingers. Good sex is good sex regardless of the skin color involved.

There are some things to keep in mind. One issue is the myth of black men all having giant equipment.  The penis size myth still lives on with many people.  The world will probably never run out of ignorant people.  Don’t be surprised if you encounter people who think this myth is true, especially if they are new to swinging.  Some inexperienced couples may feel intimidated by a black couple because they don’t think they can compete with their sexual prowess or ignorantly fear the mythical large equipment can change women.  Thankfully this ignorance is short-lived in the swinging lifestyle as people quickly become familiar with different cultures and people.  Veteran swingers know that sexiness is a state of mind, which is why interracial swinging is common.

Side note from one of our closest black unicorn friends: White swingers are usually inexperienced with how to touch or, should we say not touch a black woman’s hair.  They don’t understand how common wigs and weaves are in the black community and aren’t always gentle with these sometimes fragile hairpieces.  Non-black swingers can be ignorant about the dangers of getting a black lady’s hair wet, and the swinging lifestyle does like to spend a good bit of time in pools & hot tubs.

Black Swinger Decoder List

The lifestyle has its own swinging vocabulary.  You probably are already familiar with many of these terms, but just in case, here are some related terms you might come across as a black swinger…

BBC
Big black cock. As we said, the myth lives on, despite scientific research showing we are all about the same.  There are even BBC lifestyle parties.
Bull
This relates to the cuckolding fetish that can overlap with swinging but is a separate thing. A bull is the dominant male in a cuckold situation. The bull will have sex with the woman while the other man, aka the cuckold, does not actively participate. Not usually specific to skin color, but the myth of black men having extra-large equipment still lives on, so best to be aware.
Queen of Spades
Refers to white women with a strong sexual preference for black men. These ladies often wear a spade shape tattoo with a Q inside of the spade. Less common in the swinging space and more common with cuckolding couples.
SBF
Single black female. All single ladies in the swinging lifestyle are also called unicorns.
SBM
Single black male.
SWF
Single white female. All single ladies in the swinging lifestyle are also called unicorns.
SWM
Single white male.
Vanilla
Refers to the non-swinging world, has nothing to do with skin color.

Last Updated: June 1, 2022
Written By:Dr. Georgia
Tagged With: Race/Culture

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Welcome to Swingers Help! We’re Dr. Georgia & Will Fuchs, a married couple who have been enjoying our swinging time through the consensual non-monogamy community. Our experience hasn’t been perfect or drama-free but we don’t regret at all making the decision to start swinging. To share our swinging enjoyment, we authored the top ranked Swingers’ Little Helper book and provide free videos, articles, games, & relationship exercises on this site.  Join us as we share our insights on the swinging lifestyle.

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