Let’s clear up a few things about bisexuality in the swinging lifestyle. The lifestyle technically welcomes people of all types of sexuality in the swinging world. Sometimes there is a bit of bias especially when it comes to bisexuality. Realistically, guys are often expected to be straight heterosexuals regardless of how they truly feel and women are expected to have at least bit of flexibility, and they are actively encouraged to be bisexual or at least bi-curious. Thankfully, the newer generation of swingers (20 & 30 year olds) tend to be more accepting of guys who may or may not be curious about bisexuality.
To be honest, we are all a little gay.
For example, many men like watching hot porn where a sexy woman is getting drilled by a well-hung guy. Well, getting turned on by watching a well-hung man is a little bit gay. What if a guy is watching a really hot lesbian porno? That isn’t gay at all, unless you realize that you’re watching two homosexuals have sex. When it’s phrased that way, it does sound a bit gay.
These examples are a little silly, but they’re also true. There has been real sex research done by people with fancy PhDs for over 50 years and they have found that most people (men and women alike) have at least a little gray area in their sexuality. If you don’t believe us, just look up Kinsey Scale on Google. There are over 200 different scales for measuring the varying degrees of sexuality!
So how does sexuality fit into the swinging lifestyle? It’s different for guys and ladies. Let’s explore both sides so you can see where you might fit in.
Don’t kill the messenger. We’re not saying it is right, and it is most definitely unfair, but often there is pressure in the lifestyle for a guy to be very straight and not publicly be bi. You will see a few men being honest about their bisexuality, but most bisexual men keep it on the down low. The exception is the younger crowd of swingers who tend not to be judgmental if a guy wants to be bisexual with another consenting adult. Unfortunately, the younger crowd is a minority portion of the swinging community. If you list yourself as a bisexual man on a swinging website, you will likely have fewer couples contact you. There are some dedicated swinging groups for bisexual men, so you can still find plenty of play partners, but it won’t be as easy as saying you’re straight.
If you are a bisexual man, don’t worry too much. Even though you might encounter unfair viewpoints from some older swingers, you will find there are many bisexual men in the lifestyle … they just might not openly advertise their preference. If you are open about your male bisexuality, you will likely be contacted by couples with “straight” men who really enjoy a full blown bisexual orgy.
For straight men that are reading this section, grab a beer and relax. Too many straight guys are wound up about proving their heterosexuality and miss out on a lot of fun. We aren’t even talking about being bisexual. We’re just talking about experimenting with that nerve-packed prostate of yours. Don’t freak out if a lady wants to massage that prostate while giving you a blowjob. It doesn’t make you gay or bisexual, it just makes you cum really hard from a super intense orgasm. The prostate in your bum is basically the g-spot for guys. There are some really experienced ladies in the lifestyle who can make you cum harder than you have ever come before – if you are willing to relax and try something new. Of course, if you don’t want to experiment with this, you should tell your play partner and expect them to respect your decision.
If you are lucky you will find yourself in some hot & sexy moments. These moments could be uncomfortable situations for homophobic guys. They might even think it is a borderline-gay situation like standing naked next to another guy, stroking your own respective cocks, watching both your of ladies put on the hottest girl-on-girl show before inviting you gentlemen to join the action. Don’t freak out! No one is trying to trick you but often play rooms can be tight spaces. When you are having sexy time with other people, there is likely going to be times when you unintentionally get close to male anatomy. Unless you prefer having sex fully clothed, make sure you can act like a mature adult and be cool with it. The lifestyle is about consensual fun amongst sexy adults. The more you can chill and handle things that just pop-up, the more sexy situations you will likely enjoy.
Ladies, you have more flexibility than men do in terms of bisexuality. However, you will likely encounter some pressure to be bisexual or at least a little “bi for the team”. This generally means willing to play with another lady to increase the excitement level.
You can do as much or as little exploring of your sexuality as you choose. You can simply say “no thanks” if you’re invited to play with another woman. But, if you’re curious about what it might be like to kiss another woman, go ahead and try it (as long as you ask if it’s okay, of course). If you feel compelled to explore another girl’s breasts and want to kiss or caress them, go ahead and ask. Many women in the lifestyle are bisexual or bi-curious, and will be open to attention from other ladies. Don’t assume anything about another woman, and always ask respectfully before touching.
If you’d prefer not to experiment with other ladies, this is completely acceptable. You may find yourself growing more curious over time as you delve deeper into the lifestyle and open up more to your own sexuality. Some women are just plain straight and will never want to engage with another woman. Others decide they want to experiment for a while then choose whether it’s for them.
It’s well-known that many men find it extremely hot to watch two beautiful women playing with each other. Many men just can’t stop themselves from asking if they can join in before you are ready to stop playing with your new lady friends. Don’t be afraid to tell the men to hang back until you’re ready. Swinging is a team activity, but ladies tend to act as the coach, steering what happens or doesn’t happen. Be vocal about your comfort level. Push yourself as much as you like, but don’t feel obliged to let others push you. It’s in everyone’s best interest for you to be happy so speak up if you want to do something or would rather not do something.
At the end of the day, just be yourself and do what feels good 🙂