Whichever swinging community website you end up using, you will want to make sure you properly fill out your online profile to attract more friends and potential play partners. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – don’t overshare. You can always share more information later, but you can’t un-share something. If you are like most swingers, you’re doing this privately, without telling your vanilla friends and family. You want to avoid outing yourself.
Choosing Screen Name
Your screen name will be one of your first methods of introducing yourself in the community. Pick a screen name that is easy to spell so swingers can more easily remember how to contact you after meeting you at a swinger event. Make sure the screen name doesn’t reveal your personal identity. You can do a mashup of your favorite color and your favorite animal or another mashup of your choosing, just keep it simple but still unique and relevant to you.
Good Username Examples:
Coolkissers – easy to spell and remember
txfuntime – Assuming you are permanently going to live in Texas, it is good
Not so good examples:
T1meforfunz – Good luck having friends from the club spell this correctly to find you later
BobNJaneSmith – Sharing too much personal info like your full name is rarely a good idea
Ok, you have your screen name, now let’s talk pictures. Take some new pictures without anything personal in the background. You don’t want someone to recognize your living room or have your kid’s picture in the background.
Absolutely do not reuse pictures from your vanilla world. If you are like most people, those pictures are most likely too old and not an accurate reflection of what you look like today. We are sure you looked great on your honeymoon, but you want to accurately reflect how you currently look when trying to connect with other swingers. Trying to pull a bait & switch using old photos will likely result in you getting embarrassed in real life as the other couple will pass right by you.
Furthermore, there are online reverse image searching tools that are creepily effective. People can take your photos and plug them into free websites that will match up your pictures and faces with any other public site that also has them. We don’t want anyone to be able to use your swinging profile pictures to track back to your real-world Facebook profile. To avoid accidental outing, there should be no crossing the streams between your vanilla world and your swinging lifestyle.
Many swingers only show body pictures with no faces. Later, if there is a connection, they will share face pictures directly with the swingers who are interested. Of course, you should do whatever you both feel comfortable doing. Just remember you can’t un-share something online that you have already exposed. Be smart and think twice before sharing once.
While we’re discussing pictures, let’s talk about a major mistake many couples in the lifestyle make. While we all agree that ladies have much more beautiful bodies than guys, it’s important to include some pictures of the man in your profile. It’s tempting to focus on the sexy lady, but other swingers (specifically females) will want to know what to expect from a new male play partner.
Focus on the body, and skip the pictures of his junk. Glorious as that junk may be, swingers usually want to see the guy’s general physique and, eventually, a face picture. Many swinging ladies veto profiles that don’t show enough of the guy or only show his equipment. It’s only fair for each partner to know what to expect from a potential connection. How can swinging ladies know if they’re attracted to a man if there are no pictures of him? Worse, if there are only pictures of the female, it might be assumed that the male doesn’t measure up physically. Save the more intimate pictures for later, and put your best photos forward!
The best swinger profiles will have many different photos showing many different poses. Show off your best parts by striking sexy poses that accentuate and flatter a lady’s curves or a guy’s muscles. While you don’t want to be fake or misleading, there’s no shame in being proud of (and showing off) your best features!
Here are some basic tips for taking great photos that show off your sexy body.
- Minimize belly and maximize bust by seductively stretching your arms upwards
- Show off your cleavage by pushing your elbows into your boobs
- Wear high heels to boost your legs
- Pop up your muscles by pumping some weights right before the pictures
- Pick the right lingerie. Corsets can improve weak abs or boost cleavage, while a teddy can help hide a bit of jiggle in your belly.
- Arching backwards turns bulges into sexy curves
- Lie on your back with your legs up in the air to hide the belly and focus on the legs
- Laying on your stomach and arching backwards shows the booty and pops the cleavage
- Looking upwards stretches out that double chin
- Use good lighting to make your skin look better and your eyes sparkle
- None of us are perfect but remember we are all truly beautiful & sexy!
Feel free to search Google and Youtube for more help and inspiration; there are tons of resources for how to take great boudoir style pictures.
Writing Your Story
Once you’ve got a good batch of sexy photos, you can move on to filling out the details. Be honest and upfront, without oversharing. You don’t want to waste time with mismatched connections that lead nowhere, so make sure you accurately state your situation and give some details about what you hope to find and experience. If you aren’t sure what to write, take inspiration from other profiles.
One or two sentences probably won’t be enough to adequately tell your story; try for at least four or five sentences to increase the chances of finding a connection. People like to be well-informed, and swingers are no different. Longer profiles that give the reader a good sense of who’s behind the screen are much more likely to receive attention from the swinger community. Personality matters, too, so try and be yourself in your profile.
Avoid negative statements and focus on the positive – talking about what turns you on is much better than talking about what turns you off. Of course, you should mention any deal-breakers you have – politely! But know that if you have a lot of deal-breakers, you’ll probably come off as high maintenance, which isn’t very sexy at all. A good rule of thumb is to say at least three positive sexy things for every one negative thing you mention in your profile.
Here are some questions to try to answer in your profile:
- What do you both look like?
- What is your lifestyle experience level?
- What is your preferred lifestyle style? Soft or full swap, same or separate room?
- What do you both want to happen?
- What do you find extra sexy? Kinks, fantasies, dreams?
- What are your rules & limits? Kissing, oral, anal, etc?
- Do you have any sexual orientation preferences? Straight, Bi, Gay?
- How do you have fun outside of the bedroom? What do you like other than sex?
- Where will you to go to meet new people? Clubs, house parties, bars, hotels, your home?
- What type of swinging partners are you seeking? Couples, singles, girl/girl, group play?
Feel free to bend the truth a little about your personal details to hide your identity. For example, you might change your hometown to another town nearby, or fib a bit on how long you have been dating or married. As long as the changes are minor, and you don’t think you’re misleading anyone, these little white lies can help afford you a little more personal security. Swingers do not like dishonest people and will quickly turn from a person or couple that seems deceptive. One thing you don’t want to do is tell a big lie about your age. That’s a good way to upset other swingers and alienate yourself from the community.
Protecting your job and your families in the vanilla world is important, but there’s no excuse for purposely misleading people when it comes to major facets of your personality or identity. You are likely going to have many conversations with many different swingers and you don’t want to get caught in a lie. Keep the details simple and as close to reality as you can. Use common sense, and if you aren’t comfortable sharing something you can always skip that part of your profile and return to it later when you’re more secure.