Yes, there are plenty of young twenty-somethings in the swinging lifestyle.
Younger adults are actually more into the swinging lifestyle than most realize. Many people in their 20s are exploring non-monogamy, including swinging because it gives them more freedom and flexibility than the rigid roles of traditional relationships.
However, there are a few catches. The majority of couples in the swinging lifestyle are still people in their 30s to 50s because they tend to have more disposable income than younger adults & newfound free time as their children grow up.
Breaking Age Stereotypes
Believe it or not, swinging is not only for middle-aged people who want to spice up their marriage. Many people of all ages enjoy the non-monogamous life. This misunderstanding is largely created because Hollywood and porn sites don’t provide accurate portrayals of swinging. In the real world, swingers come in every size, shape, and age.
It’s not too early to be a swinger in your twenties. There are even swinger events specifically tailored to swingers in their 20s & 30s. Our swinger survey found more than 11% of swingers are 18-29 years old.
Lastly, while swinging can be attractive to many young people, it can actually be less accessible to them for several reasons:
- Swinging is easier for long-term couples, who have developed their trust and communication skills over the years. Younger people are less likely to have built that relationship with a long-term partner.
- Swinging takes cash. Young people, who are at the beginning of their career, may not have the means to pay the club fees, reserve hotel rooms, or have a home where they can host others.
- Most people begin swinging when they’ve had time to explore their sexual preferences. Depending on when they became sexually active, younger people may not yet have had that opportunity.
All of this combines to make it seem as if there are few young people in the lifestyle. However, rest assured that they are plenty of young swingers.
When Does Age Matter In Swinging?
The biggest age roadblock is you are underage for alcohol. Most swinger parties have alcohol, and none of them want the police bothering them for underage drinking. If you can legally drink alcohol, then you are good to go enter clubs and other lifestyle events.
The next potential age roadblock is when there are huge age gaps. Swingers do enjoy variety and are open to a wide range of ages. The age gap issue pops up when it is big enough to make people think of their children or their parents, which isn’t a sexy thought. Older swingers might be hesitant or may flat out refuse to talk to younger members. Often, they don’t want to be seen as creepy to the young swingers. That classic “I’m as old as your parents” refusal has disappointed many younger swingers. But it’s not about you; it’s just their preference.
Frankly, there’s a lot of upside to being young in the swinging lifestyle. Other swingers love the energy that young people bring to parties, where they are often the first to hop on the dance floor. Many older couples love swinging with younger couples or unicorns for a refreshing change of pace. Furthermore, experienced members are always more than happy to help young newcomers learn about the lifestyle.
Knowing When You’re Ready To Swing
Being immature is a common blunder of young swingers, but it is not always the case. With practice and consideration, most 20-year-olds can artfully navigate themselves within the swinging community.
If you feel like you’ve reached that level of sophistication, ask yourself these questions before you go full-swing:
- Do you know your sexual preferences when it comes to swinging? This has to come down to the tiniest details: Is kissing ok, soft-swings (no penetration) or full swinging, or how many people are too many or too few. These details are actually important to successfully navigate the swinging lifestyle. Neither young nor old swinger enjoys arguments or misunderstandings from a lack of communication.
- Can you communicate your interest or lack thereof to the other swingers? How about explaining your boundaries with them? Swinger events are not as simple as showing up and having sex with the first person you see. It involves a good bit of socializing to see if you actually like the people you may swing with. Younger people can actually thrive with this social aspect since their skills are still fresh with navigating the single life.
- Are you confident enough to chat up with older swingers? Regardless of your age and preference, many people in this space will be in their 30s and 40s. They will want to see if you’re someone they can chat with and flirt together with you. A sign of maturity is when you’re open-minded and respectful about different people having different preferences.
If you’re unsure about any of these questions, you may not be ready for swinging. There’s still plenty of time ahead to explore and learn your own preference.
How To Be A Young Swinger?
- Think twice before experimenting with your vanilla friends. You probably know some good-looking vanilla friends, but it is safer to make friends out of swingers rather than try to make swingers out of your friends. Your vanilla friends might not be interested in non-monogamy and may judge you for it or gossip about you to others. Even if they seem open to it, you can’t be sure how they will react. They might have trouble dealing with jealousy and doubt, which could lead to your friendship being permanently lost.
- You can join a swinger dating site. Each locale has a different site that is popular, so make sure you join the site that is right for your local area. Then build out your profile and reach out to others. A nice thing about online swinger sites is that you can take your time and move at your own pace.
- Attend a swinger club. Swingers clubs and parties offer fun game nights, drinks, stages, and exhibitionist spaces to cater to all your fantasies. It is not unusual to attend a swinger club & not to do anything with anyone. You can take it slow. Swingers are a friendly bunch and will be happy to chat with you. When you do find swingers that interest you, go ahead and flirt. When the mood is right, ask them if they are interested in playing with you. Swinging is not just about sex. It’s also about socializing, making friends, and connecting with people who believe in the same ideas. You can find a calendar of swinger club events and parties on your local swinger dating site.
- At swingers’ events, observe the dynamic before dipping your toes in. If people see that you are a newbie, they will want to help. Swingers are super chatty and helpful when they’re in their space, so ask all about the lifestyle that you want. If you’re unsure what to say, a few good conversation starters are: How did you get into the lifestyle? How has it been like being a swinger? What’s your best/worst experience so far?
- You can explore it as a single person or as a couple. Many swingers are couples, but singles are still welcome in the lifestyle. If you are a single lady (aka unicorn), you will likely have plenty of attention. Be ready to screen them to find the connection that is right for you. If you are a single man, your problem will be convincing the other couples that you are unlike the ignorant single men who came before you & behaved poorly. Too many single men falsely think swinging is about easy sex & don’t realize it is about being a good teammate for another couple.