Many people don’t understand the swinging lifestyle because it isn’t usually explained. Hollywood likes to have fun with it and incorrectly portray so it will fit into their fantasy scripts. This is one reason why some people incorrectly assume swingers are just nymphomaniacs without any morals. People in the lifestyle actually tend to be very picky. So why do people want to join the swinging lifestyle? Because its a welcoming place that appreciates & cherishes the sexier side of life.
It can be hard to separate enjoying sex from the romance of your special relationship since society likes to lump sex and romance together. They are most definitely two unique things. Yes, sometimes we can use sex to show our romantic love to our special someone but they are not the same thing. Won’t you still romantically love your special someone when you are a 100 years old and past your sexy time?
Since romance and sex are two distinct concepts, let’s imagine going to a concert with friends. If your friends asked you to join them dancing at the concert, would you be upset? Doubtful, you would probably say yes, because dancing is fun. The more people dancing together is just more fun for everyone. At the end of the night, everyone is going to head home with the love of their life because it was just dancing and you were only having fun.
We are going to make a jump here, so take a deep breath and exhale. Now what if it wasn’t a dance but a sexy fun time? What if you temporarily had physical fun with your friends before going home with your loved one? That jump was probably too big for you right now and that is ok since we have plenty of time to reflect on this different way of thinking.
Swingers understand that sexy fun is just that … physical fun. It is not romantic and definitely not a replacement for the sexiest person they know … that special someone who they love above all others.
For those having trouble understanding swinging, it might help to imagine it in terms of food. Your partner is an amazing cook. The food he or she makes is your absolute favorite. You’d be happy to eat their food every night for the rest of your life. No one can make their recipes quite the same way. But, sometimes, you like to go out to eat, or eat at a friend’s house. It’s not because you’re tired of your partner’s cooking, or don’t like it anymore, but because you’re curious about what the new café in town is serving. It’s fun to break out of your routine and try something new. Your love for your partner’s home cooked meals doesn’t diminish even if you discover you like the appetizers at a restaurant. You might even discover a new way to spice up a favorite home-cooked dish that makes it even better. Some recipes are perfect on their own, but there’s always the possibility to improve others. Swinging allows you to sample some new sexual flavors, and enhance your sexual relationship with your own partner, without diminishing your love, desire, or affection for your special partner.
Another way to look at swinging is by comparing it to a library. A very sexy lending library. You have your favorite book (maybe it’s even our Swinger’s Little Helper). You love this book! This book gets you, it knows you, it connects with you like no other book has or ever will. This book seems like it was written just for you, and you’re amazed every time you read it. You could spend the rest of your life stuck on a deserted island with this book. But sometimes, you still look at other books. You’re interested in their attractive covers. You’re curious about what’s inside. This curiosity is perfectly natural. Opening a new book is fun and exciting. You can really enjoy a new book. It doesn’t mean the new book is better than your favorite book. It’s just different, and those differences make it fun to read new books. You might learn something from the new book that makes your favorite book even more special, or helps you understand your favorite book better.
For swingers, the lifestyle provides a huge lending library of sexy books you can briefly check out. Your favorite book can be read by others, too – sharing your favorite book with another person doesn’t make it any less special. In fact, having someone else read your favorite book for the first time might remind you why it’s your favorite book, and reinforce your appreciation for it. You can return home from this sexy lending library with a new, deeper enjoyment of your favorite book, and maybe some new plot twists you can introduce to the narrative.
In these situations, you can acknowledge that as much as you love your partner and find them attractive and sexy, it’s natural to be curious about other people. Sex with people outside your relationship can help you enhance the sexy fun time in your romantic relationship. You may both learn new things to bring home and try out on each other, and find renewed passion for things that have grown a little stale.